Why?

Our team often talks about having a WHY, a reason you do what you do. 

I think most entrepreneurs and home business builders have a WHY. 

In fact, I think everyone has a WHY when it comes to goals.

When I started my home business in October of 2007, my WHY was very different than what it is today.  At that time, I was a new mom, taking time off teaching and my last 3 courses in getting my Masters in Educational Leadership and Administration.  I knew I didn't want to go back to full time work and my former career goals of becoming a school principal and possibly a superintendent were no longer a desire to me.  I simply wanted to be home, but still earn a paycheck.  We were getting into a massive pit of debt, and with only one income saw no way out.

My WHY then: start making some money from home.

 

A year after that, Jaylen was diagnosed with Autism, he had therapies daily both in and out of the house, and I was pregnant with our second son.

My WHY then: make enough to stay home so Jaylen could get the care he needs, and Xavier wouldn't need to go to daycare. 

As time went on my WHY evolved into getting out of debt, saving more money, setting up college funds, and the pie in the sky type stuff: a big house, new cars, a state of the art in home occupational/physical therapy room, vacations, and other "fun" items that required a big financial backing.

And that's where it stood, with a huge dream board and notebook filled with pictures of things I would love to be able to afford.  But it didn't work.  Those goals were too far off for me to really shoot for,. 

This morning it hit me, my new WHY, something that will push me, motivate me, keep me disciplined and focused.

My brand new WHY:

To be financially set enough I only think and worry about money 5% of the day.  

Currently, I think about money almost 50% of my day.  Sounds extreme, but about 8 hours of my day, 30 minutes of every hour, are spent thinking about money.  I can't get it out of my head.   I think about our debt, when to pay, how to pay, and when each loan/card will be paid off.  I think about paying for both of my sons' pricey karate classes, should we still be doing it?  I think about groceries, how much should I budget for this month?  I think about emergencies, what if one of the cars, TVs, furnace, or washer or dryer break down?  I think about savings, retirement, and college funds, do we have enough, are we doing enough to make sure our boys are set?  

And during the tight months, I think about it even more, almost 65% of the day.  I obsess over paying bills on time, making sure money goes where it needs to, and what we can and can't afford to do.  

The reason for all these thoughts?  We are not financially free.  My goal for our family is to have complete financial freedom.  If I simplify and tell myself the goal is to be able to stop all these stressful money thoughts, my goal is measurable and attainable.  I will sleep better, eat better, and relax.  

What is your WHY?

Balancing Work From Home and Motherhood

Note: This article originally appeared on Theta Mom as a guest post.  Visit here to read the original post. 

“Hello, Dr. George? This is Jean. I am so sorry to do this with only a month until school starts this fall, but I won’t be coming back. You should find someone to take my Kindergarten position. The Johnson and Johnson commercials were right; having a baby does change everything.”

I quit my teaching job with just three courses left for my Masters in Educational Leadership and Administration, and about two years from becoming a principal. My life turned in a direction I hadn’t expected.
 
I was officially a stay at home mom.

Now what?

Nine months in I got restless, missed adult interaction and my own income.  I found myself nitpicking my husband, stressed over little things and feeling a little less intelligent. I absolutely loved being a stay at home mom and wouldn’t trade it for anything, but had other personal goals I wanted to fulfill. We had recently bought a house as a two income family and were now down to one income; I needed to contribute financially. I searched until I found something to do from home that was right for me and our family that I would enjoy. I began marketing on a freelance basis for an amazing health and wellness company…

In the three years that followed, my first child was diagnosed with Autism. We began intensive therapy and a complete overhaul of our future. We reformulated plans, dreams, and ideals, especially when my next son was born with enough health issues to end up in the NICU for a month, where his life was finally saved by a blood transfusion. In the midst of all this, I continued to work my home business as well as keep up a personal blog and a work at home resource blog.

The number one challenge as a work at home mom is balance. I strive to make my business hours and actually stick to them. Both of my boys require a lot of attention, especially my special needs son. He needs guidance, validation, and praise from me constantly. It is near impossible to work while he is home and awake. Recently, in the most pitiful sad voice he said to me, “Mom, I told you to watch and then when I turned around you weren’t looking.” And on an anniversary date in December my husband said, “It’s nice to talk to you face to face, instead of the back of your head as you work at your computer.” Ouch. Hence, the need for some balance and prioritizing.

So how do I stay focused when I stare at all the duties I have as a work at home mom, a special needs mom, and a housewife?

Passion, success and discipline.

Because I am passionate about my business, Autism work and blogging, I rarely procrastinate and don’t mind sacrificing other things to fit them into my day. That being said, my family is always top priority, I can’t stress that enough. A friend of mine recently said he would be content to be financially comfortable. Not me. I am comfortable now, but what I want is a future with complete financial freedom. Discipline is what makes or breaks each day for me. If I organize and prioritize my day the night before, or in the morning, I am focused and on track.

All areas of my life are put into Must Do, Should Do, and Can Do Lists.

Must Do List: Reminds me to pay bills, set up doctor appointments, make calls for work, write blog posts, do laundry since no one has clean underwear…you get the picture.  In the Must Do List, every parent has something that changes the priorities in the list. My son’s Autism adds items like: call insurance to dispute coverage, write social stories (a therapy we use), or attend IEP meetings, among many others…

Should Do List: Includes dishes, straightening, visiting blog friends, showering (that should always be on the Must list huh?), and exercising.

Can Do List: Things I really want to do, like read a Kindle book, magazine, or play Angry Birds.
It’s easy to overload my day and add too much to each list so I’m careful to make sure it’s realistic. I want to feel successful for what I have done, rather than let down by what I have not done. By the end of the day, things that can be put off by a day get moved into the Should Do or Can Do lists.

The bottom line is I am only one mom who tries to do too many things and just wants to crash on the couch with a glass of red wine and some trashy TV after a long day of Autism tantrums, work, and housekeeping. But I don’t give myself those two hours unless I accomplish everything I set out to do that day.  If I do, I can have my “me time” as well as the reward that comes from meeting my goals.

This post was my last Must Do today, so excuse me; I’ve got a glass of wine and some TiVo’d shows waiting.